The Perils of Pregnancy

Ok, today's post may be conceived as a tad bit negative. BUT please bear in mind that it is in no way intended to be negative in the least. I just rather enjoy finding humor in my current circumstance, and want to share a little of that with friends & family.

That being said; here it goes...

This cartoon just says it all, doesn't it? :)

 

 

Backaches... awful and unavoidable. Especially working on my feet all day 5 days a week. Sometimes I can't take it anymore and sit down on the floor in my check stand for a minute or two for a little break, but now a days it's honestly almost more work than it's worth trying to get my butt back up in a hurry for a customer. (hurry...HA!)

Leg cramps are my new favorite sleep robbers. "Calcium" my doctor says. I "just need more calcium". Well if the 4 tums every night (for that lovely heartburn), almost half a gallon of milk a day (I CRAVE the stuff like crazy. Along with cereal, which I eat almost every day), cheese sticks & prenatal vitamins aren't giving me enough calcium to ease the leg cramps; I would love to know what more "calcium" I need to be eating that would. But hey, who needs to stretch their legs at night anyway?! right?

Heartburn... Wow I really sound old now don't I? I guess it's karma's way of getting me back for always laughing at my parents and calling my dad a sissy for skipping out on a spicy meal to avoid it. And now? Now the first thought that crosses my mind when picking a meal or deciding whether or not to eat something is "are my tums near by?" or "am I going to regret this immediately?" That answer is almost always; YES. Everytime I try to convince myself I won't get it or that it's really not so bad, my body teaches me a swift hard lesson. You'd really think I'd learn! Have you ever tried to sleep with fire in your chest and throat that comes into your mouth every few minutes as well? Not too soothing. Not too soothing at all.

[Can't sleep, breath or walk. How am I supposed to find the energy to glow?!]

 

If Chantz thought I was emotional before... He really know's what it means to be emotional now!

Our most recent emotional crisis took place while watching my show in bed a couple nights ago. One of the characters died. Naturally I should bawl my eyes out right? Ya, my body thought so too.

Chantz took one look over at me and busted up with laughter. :) I have to admit it was pretty funny! hahaa. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. I even started laughing at myself along with him through my tears until they finally stopped! And then when he brought it up to tease me a little later, the water works were back.. I guess I really liked that character.

People talk about vivid "pregnancy dreams" all of the time but I hadn't really experienced them

like this until just recently.

Just last night I had a VERY real dream that I had let Chantz keep the baby in his stomach for awhile, and I got extremely upset with him when I found the baby's right arm coming out of his body through his arm pit. "Why would you let him hang his arm out early? He's still growing! What is wrong with you?! Get his arm back in there RIGHT NOW!" I was consciously angry with him for being so careless. haha! And then the baby comes out later that morning, but it's actually an adorable black and white kitten; not a baby. Then Chantz tells me that it's a magic kitten becuase it can walk through anything and that's how he got out of him in the first place. I didn't believe him till the little guy walked right through the screen on our window and ran away. I woke up so frantic and sad :(

Think I'm crazy yet? Oh good, cause I do too. :)

 

TMI Time:

If you would like to be spared of the too much information I'm about to spill, go ahead and stop reading now. Thanks for stopping by! :)

I may be speaking for myself only here; I'm not actually sure because women usually don't bring up the real embarrassing and uncomfortable side effects of being pregooo.

In case my swollen feet & hands, pimples, enormous stomach, incredibly white skin, stretch marks where I really never wanted them, and a new body weight that is rapidly catching up with my husband's didn't make me feel disgusting enough... Nature through in a few extra fun scenario's to deal with.

It used to be that I could laugh, sneeze, cough and run without ever having to worry about peeing my pants. Oh the luxury! Becuause let me tell you, those days are most definately gone. Too much information? I told you to stop reading..

Another completely disgusting side effect? Gas. Holy toleto. Must I say more..?

Oh and don't forget the constipation! Thats a fun one. ha!

Like I mentioned breifly in my last blog update, the bathroom breaks required nowadays are out of hand. Did anyone else dream of having a catheter as often as me? Ahhh.. Even the thought is so comforing!

Sleep? What is sleep? I seem to have a very faint memory of it, but its not ringing any bells for me.. I miss sleep so very very much :/  It seems like I sleep less and less every night and wake up grumpier and grumpier every morning. Please don't take more than 40 weeks baby!

Well it's been fun. :) I love being pregnant and I cannot wait to meet our little guy!! He may be making me feel a tad bit miserable right now, but it's not his fault. I love him and I want him to take his time growing strong and healthy!

The End.